Whoa - I think I'm starting to like myself

Just over the last few weeks I have been trying to develop more of a sense of self while making sure that it is a positive sense of self. I feel very successful and credit a lot of that to my writing and also to trying to feel my emotions. I also have been able to stop – temporarily at least – thinking that at certain points of the day I “should” be doing something more constructive. I don’t know if I was criticizing myself but I never took any time to consider what I wanted. I want a lot of things – like I want to feel good all the time, to relax once in a while, to talk to people, to eat chocolate, to ignore one of Mike’s bad moods. Not all of these are things I can or should do but it doesn’t hurt to admit that I want them nonetheless. The rest of them I can do if I want but I just have to do them in moderation.

It is very difficult to say why I feel like a better person today than I did a few weeks ago. I like myself sometimes and even take myself seriously. Everybody else makes mistakes in life so I should be able to also. Perhaps that is part of it. I have lived a lot of my life thinking that I was not allowed to make mistakes. That one fact alone is a totally self-defined assumption that is responsible for much of my unhappiness. I have a better relationship with myself today because I know that I am allowed to make mistakes.